There’s a car across the road from us. It has been sat there for nearly 2 years. Never moves. Because it’s broken. The owner’s a mechanic, so could probably have it up and running in a couple of weeks. But he’s too busy. So he doesn’t. He could quite easily take it to the garage down the road. But he doesn’t.


hopefully he'll do something before it gets this bad

My neighbour has fallen victim to a fatal assumption. An assumption that’s hurting him, and all of us struggling to do something that we’ve been meaning to do for years.

The fatal assumption goes something like this;

“Because I’m capable of fixing this by myself, I assume that at some point I’ll do it”.

Not so, replies the voice of reality.

But I Already Know What to Do…

This was brought home to me at the weekend when a few friends and family came round for lunch. We sat out in the back garden in the scorching sun (you remember? the one day Brits could wear t-shirts outside too!).

The conversation turned to paying for nutrition guidance to help with weight loss. More specifically, why would anyone pay for something that they could do on their own?

A few thoughts;

  1. Everyone can lose weight and get in shape by themselves. But, for whatever reason, many people don’t.
  2. Getting help does not mean we couldn’t do it on your own. It’s just a way of prioritising it and making it actually happen.
  3. Thinking we should be able to do something by ourself is one of the biggest ways to keep ourselves stuck. This seems to apply to every area of life (read more about the effect the word ‘should’ has on us here).
  4. Getting help moves us from thinking about doing something to actually doing it. Thinking is fine. But doing’s where the money’s at.
  5. Instead of seeing getting help as paying for someone to tell us what to do, think of it more as paying for someone to help us get a result we’re seeking.
  6. If we decide to refuse help by someone who can genuinely help us, chances are we’re either:

1) already making rapid progress towards our goal.

2) letting ego get in the way.

or 3) not ready to change right now.

And not being ready to change is perfectly fine. It’s actually quite liberating to accept that while we like the idea of achieving something, right now, we’re just not willing to change anything to make it happen.

Wrap Up

Just because we have the ability to do something by ourselves, doesn’t mean we ever will. If we want to make something happen faster than it currently is, it’s OK to reach out and ask for help.